Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Lars, Jasper, and Patent Medicines: The Mummy's Wrath II

From the far flung remote and dessicating sands of the Gobi Desert a new mummy arrives for the Museum, drawing throngs of the curious in Kenosha.  It's another ambitious project of erstwhile archaeologist Lars Olafson.  Lars, not one to miss a profitable opportunity, and Jasper Elkhorn, purveyor of nostrums and anodynes, not one to miss good publicity, have struck a deal and plastered the famous remains with advertising.  Neither gentleman being known for his subtlety, each has missed just how misdirected and annoying their pioneering efforts at advertising may be.  It is enough to raise the dead.  The Kenosha Museum of Antiquities and Dry Goods Emporium will soon regret this new project:  he stirs -- first Lars, then Jasper, then Kenosha, then, well, the world.  BWAAhaHA.

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